毋忘六四

今日只聽此曲......

回應一個朋友的好意

自從「犯罪學?定係TESOL?」呢篇寫完之後就有朋友叫我唔好誤會警察.
我講既係事實,仲上晒報紙,又何來誤會呢?

你話少數負面事件就係事實,咁警察俾人吐口水,俾人侮辱,俾人問候娘親就唔係事實?
係!呢0的都係事實,但係請問市民點解需要警察呢?不是正因為有這些人的出現嗎?
正因為有呢0的人,所以先至要有警察!
如果唔係警察來承受這些事,那麼何種職業才需要承受這些事呢?

你話因為某報紙高層俾警察捉之後才有那麼多負面新聞.
我話但係醜聞一直都有
你也承認這一點
而以我個人理解你字面上的意思是想帶出一個信息是:如不是那高層的事件,根本市民就不會知道有醜聞,縱使是知道一直有醜聞也不致於知道得那麼多和那麼仔細
你可以否認(咁我就真係唔知點解你要講呢件事俾我知),
但如果我的理解是事實,咁點解你會將醜聞被揭發的責任賴落個高層到既?
難道你認為市民無權知道個事實?難道你認為醜聞就可以不了了之?
其他職業都還可以既,但係政府工就唔可以
因為政府係為人民服務既,市民有權知道政府既一切,包括醜聞
市民都希望警察真的可以做到公平,公正和公義

你又話而家已經有除衫搜身的制度
很好,但也是在被人揭發,被立法會議員督促之後才會有的,
如果不是被揭發,難道你會認為政府,保安局或警察會有人提議修訂嗎?
I don't think so.
點解政府唔可以在被人揭發之前就先行修訂呢?
呢個咪就係警察唔尊重人權,政府無民主既結果囉

最後你同我講你所寫既野係無語氣既,叫我唔好以為你發脾氣
但係點解你反而叫我冷靜0的??????
我真係唔係好明,點解你有口叫人睇你既野係無語氣,你無口叫自己睇人0的野係無語氣既?
就當我當時真係有0的興,但係我都係為不公義既事而興
如果我身為基督徒,見到不公義既事都唔會發火既時候,我又點樣分公義同不公義,我又點樣行公義呢?

P.S.所有睇呢篇文既朋友,你地意會到係咩語氣就咩語氣啦
語氣並唔重要,重要既係你係唔係真係用心去聽人地既說話,或者去睇人地既文章呢?
同埋我都唔會介意人地點睇我,我著重既始終都係上帝點睇我

I'm Sorry I'm a Christian

I am a Christian
我是一個基督徒
I’m sorry
對不起
I’m sorry for the way that I come across
對於我所有自認為"基督教"的言行,我感到歉疚
So fair and fake friendly and full on my self
對於我一切自認為公平和虛假的善意,我感到歉疚
so judging your spiritual health by the words that you say and the way that you dress and the things that you do
對於批評你所言,所穿,甚至所行,使你心靈上受到的傷害,我感到歉疚
Or maybe just judging you
或者我只是想透過批評你的時候,使我自己可以自視高人一等,對此我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for the way I live my life
對於我所有自以為是的"基督教"的行為,感到歉疚
So confident of my own beliefs that I would never think to think about thinking about yours
我是何等的自我,自私和自以為是,我從沒有認為有需要去思考有關於你的一切
I’m sorry for the wars
對於戰爭,我感到歉疚
Ironclad crusaders mounting steeds and drawing swords with such spirit but the spirit…
[something about the spirit being out and the sword of the spirit was the word]
…but the word was with God and the word was God and they preached this as they marched on the holy land.
對於十字軍用上帝的名義對耶路撒冷引發的戰爭[大致講述十字軍東征的歷史]
Singing and praying
期間不斷的唱聖詩和祈禱
And killing and slaying
不斷的殺戮
And preaching and healing
不斷的講道和醫治
And raping and stealing
以及不斷的批評和盜竊
It’s ironic that they lined their pockets in the name of God
諷刺地他們竟是以上帝之名來進行欺壓和歛財等行為
Just like the priests who lined their pockets in the name of God
就好像一些神父以上帝之名來歛財一樣
Just like the people you can’t stand because they always raise their hands and spread their faith and hate and judgment in the name of God
就好像你不能忍受一些人常以上帝之名來高舉他們的雙手和傳播他們的信仰,他們的仇恨和他們的審判一樣
I’m sorry that I take the name of God in vain
對於我自以為是地使用上帝的名,我感到歉疚
or rather I’m sorry that I stain the name of God
或者更確切地說,對於我敗壞了上帝的名聲,我感到歉疚
Defending my selfish actions and selfless actions pertaining to the will of God
對於使用上帝的喜好作為藉口來掩飾我一切不論是自私或無私的行為,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for being intolerant
對於我的偏執和不容忍,我感到歉疚
For trying to talk down to you, for trying to talk over you, for not letting you talk
對於我以高人一等的口氣對你說話的行為,對於我中斷你發言的行為,對於我不讓你發言的行為,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for not walking the walk
對於我不是仿傚耶穌基督的道,我感到歉疚
For being a hypocritical critical Christian
對於我是一個假冒偽善的基督徒,我感到歉疚
Criticizing your pagan lifestyle while my own lifestyle styles itself like the televangelist’s hair
對於當我將我的生活方式塑造成一個"基督徒"應有的生活方式的時候,就好像電視福音佈道者的頭髮一樣(美國朋友說那些佈道者注意他們的外表或髮型多於他們的言行),繼而去批評你非基督徒的生活方式
All slick and sly and slippery spole to slide, wait until you hear, you see that’s my greatest fear
我最懼怕的是某一天你會聽到和知道甚麼才是真的,並發現我所說的一切,原來都只是虛有其表,靠不住的
That the steps I take won’t match the words I speak
發現我所做的原來並不符合我所說的
so when I speak all you hear of me is a weak hypocritical critical Christian
所以我現在所說的和你所聽到的我只是一個軟弱和假冒偽善的基督徒
Doing one thing and saying another
說的是一套,做的卻是另一套
Loving my friend but hating my brother
愛的的朋友,但是討厭我的家人
it’s a show
這只是一場表現
I’m sorry I get drunk on Saturdays and go to church on Sundays to pray for my friends who get drunk on Saturdays.
對於我會在每個星期六喝得酩酊大醉,之後在每個星期日去教會為與我一樣喝醉的朋友祈禱的事,我感到歉疚
And on that note I’m sorry for making the church about the pews and the cross and the steeple, because the building is not the church; the church is the people
對於我將教會比作教堂的長椅,十字架和教堂的尖塔,我感到歉疚.因為建築物不能夠代表教會,教會是基督徒
I’m sorry that I hate you because you are gay
對於我厭惡你正因為你是同性戀者,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry I condemn you to hell because you’re gay instead of loving I jump to hatred
對於因為你是同性戀者,我用厭惡代替愛,甚至遺責你下地獄,我感到歉疚
Mouth open and tongue preaching, eyes open but not seeing that you are the same as me just a F****** human being
雖然我不斷的說教,眼睛雖然是睜開的,卻沒有看見,原來你和我一樣都只是他媽的人頖
I’m sorry that I only hang out with Christian friends and we only do nice Christian things like potluck dinners and board game nights
對於我只是和我的基督徒朋友有聚會,而我們亦只是做一些只令自己愉快的基督教活動(聚餐和玩團體遊戲)
While in the night a man beats his girlfriend again
但是在同一時間有一個男人再一次痛毆他的女朋友
Another homeless man dies again
同一時間再有另一位露宿耆失去生命
If this is the way my own pride has been but here I am with my same friends again
我知道這些行為並不是基督徒所應有的,但我仍然與同樣的朋友做一些同樣的事情
but see what I always forget is that Jesus did come to hang out with the priests and the lords
但是你知道嗎?我常常忘記了耶穌基督是與祭士和官吏聚會的嗎?
no, He hung out with cripples and beggars and whores.
不,我所忘記的是耶穌基督是與傷患的人,貧窮的人和妓女聚會的
Love
上帝的愛
I’m sorry for history
對於歷史,我感到歉疚
For native tribes wiped out in the name of the church
對於我們以教會的名義去摧毀原居民的一切,我感到歉疚
Lodges burning, Stomachs churning and yearning for justice as mothers
燒毀美洲原著民的居所,使他們生不如死,美國人渴望成為一個法官,好像美洲原著民的母親去判決他們一樣
screaming and bleeding, pleading for their young ones are dragged away to church schools where they were abused
他們呼喊,他們流血,他們哀求為了美洲原著民的孩子被強迫去那些會虐待他們的教會
I’m sorry for the way that I refuse to learn your culture, instead I just came to spread the gospel - and the plague
對於我拒絕學習你的文化,反而我只是來傳福音和傳染病,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry that I stand at the front doors of abortion clinics screaming at fifteen-year-old girls as they enter instead of waiting at the back door to hug them as they leave.
對於我沒有在墮胎診所的後門去擁抱十五歲的女孩,反而在前門在她們進去的時候對着她們叫喊,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for taking my wars and my faith to your lands when historically your lands is where my faith was born
對於我將戰爭和我的信仰帶到你的土地上,但事實是你的土地正是我的信仰的發源地
And in the face of the storm I realize that if God is Allah and Allah is God then 而事實上我理解到我的耶和華是你的真主阿拉,你的真主阿拉是我的耶和華的時候
why are we shooting instead of sharing
為何我們會以戰爭代替了分享
Why are we launching instead of learning
為何我們會以方便代替了學習
Why are we warring instead of walking together
為何我們會以敵對代替了同行
Why are we taking instead of talking together
為何我們會以奪取代替了溝通
Why are we bombing instead of breaking bread together
為何我們會以破壞代替了互助
You see I think God looks down and He’s sad
我想如果上帝向下注視的時候,祂會感到難過
And from His right hand throne above, Jesus asks “where is the love?”
和坐在上帝右邊的寶座的耶穌基督會問愛在那裡?
and if it takes will I and Justin Timberlake ask the same question for us to start asking the same question that where the f*** are we headed?
如果這是必須去回答的,我將會和賈斯汀(美國歌手)問同樣的問題去讓我們開始去問同樣的問題"我們被帶領到何等他媽的錯誤的地方去?"
So I will take this stage to be my chapel and this mic to be my confessional, and in the presence of God and of you, the blessed, I confess I am a Christian
所以我會將這個講台代替我的教會,這個咪高峰代替我的告解室,與及在上帝和你的面前承認我是一個不符合上帝心意的基督徒
I’m sorry
對不起
-poem by Chris Tse
作者Chris Tse

犯罪學?定係TESOL?

好耐都冇寫日誌,今次就為寫而寫
經過一年時間既考慮,早前終於都決定左揀Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages(TESOL)黎讀.

基於會返香港發展既原則下,一直都有兩個選擇犯罪學或者係TESOL.
犯罪學晌香港既前途都應該唔會離開紀律部隊(個人意願係警察).
但係我點解唔揀呢?

因為警察既醜聞.
呢兩年唔知點解好衰唔衰,竟然留意多左時事同政事,留意到原來香港唔係想像中咁好.香港既政治風氣唔講,單講警察既醜聞.
晌警察局既裡面竟然可以出現強姦案,犯案者仲要係警察.你會話呢個係個別事件.唔該唔好同我打官腔. 我係要指責個0的晌該警局當值既警察, 佢地個陣時點解唔阻止? 佢地係唔知,定係扮唔知呀?
仲有點解要一個八十幾歲既阿婆除晒衫搜身,又係個別事件呀!!
咁請問你要有幾多次先算唔個別呢?呢0的咁(禮義廉)既野,一單都嫌多啦,係唔係呀.
講得出係個別事件既人,你真係有資格晌香港做官呀!!
你會問咁我可以入去嘗試改變佢.你真係睇得起小弟.自問我就冇咁既能力喇!預防勝於治療,我去教書,教人獨立思維唔好?
所以我覺得如果我真係做左警察,就有違我黎美國讀書既主因 :

「世人哪、耶和華已指示你何為善。他向你所要的是甚麼呢。只要你行公義、好憐憫、存謙卑的心、與你的神同行。」（彌迦書6章8節）

不過原來好早之前我已經寫過要「踐行公義」，唔一定要做警察！點解我仲會有掙扎呢?呢個亦都係第二個原因.
為左啖氣......
我諗我咁講好多人都會知咩事,係!就係個件事!
但係我又點可以放得低?好簡單,上帝既計劃同個人意願相比,當然係上帝既計劃排首位啦!!
但係我又點知唔讀犯罪學係上帝既計劃?唔知架,我淨係知讀犯罪學就一定係我個人意願,而且我放棄讀犯罪學之後,成個人好似如釋重負,鬆左一口氣咁.做人何苦同自己作對呢?
而家我除左無左啖氣之外,仲要多得有咁既經驗,如果唔係我又點可以去到兩次短宣同到美國讀書呢?

我~是~誰~?

我是嬤嬤的第九個孫。
我是父母的第三個孩子。
我是兩位姊姊的弟弟。
我是聖三一堂幼稚園的簡兆恆。
我是聖公會牧愛小學下午校的簡兆恆。
我是何文田官立中學的簡生。
我是中國基督教播道會窩打老道山福音堂的Kenny。
我是神召會馬理信紀念學校的Kenny。
我是香港小童群益會的Kenny。
我是新墨西哥洲大學的Kan。
我是蔡李佛北勝曾憲權館的阿恆。
.
.
.
踏入人生第25個年頭，在不同的場合裏、不同的人面前出現過，但是我是否能做到面對每一個人也能內外一致呢？
當然不會，因為每個人也知道和認同，當你面對不同的人需要有不同的溝通技巧。
好的解釋是做人圓滑；壞的解釋是虛偽。
經歷人生25年，我學會先讚賞後批評，縱使所讚賞的不是自己所認同的......
我學會道不同不相為謀，話不投機半句多。
我學會沉默是金這些遊戲規則。
但是換來的只是不成熟，不獨立，不懂人情世故，脾氣暴躁等負面評語......
但試問曾給予我負面評語的人認識我以上多少面呢？一面？兩面？還是三面？抑或你只是停留在初認識我的那個階段呢？
不是一句「你確是這樣」就可以抹殺了我在往後的改變......
在2009年，我經歷了最無奈的數件事，令到我恍然大悟。
我明白到沉默換來的只有誤解！
所以我決定了寧鳴死，不默生！
為了公義也好，為了父神也好，為了自己也好......
為了不斷提醒自己這個決定，所以我決定了改英文名來提醒自己和讓別人提醒自己。
從今開始，在人前人後我都會是NISSI！
NISSI是出自聖經中的耶和華尼西，意思是耶和華是我的旌旗。
各位親朋戚友，往後請叫我NISSI(列斯)、阿列或列斯。
我會逐漸更正和不回應稱呼我Kenny、Kan、簡生和阿恆的朋友。
不便之處，請諒！

Sports Can Be A Major or Not

Nowadays, people pay attention to sprots more and more. They will investment in it with a huge resource such as the U.S. , China, and Russia. In those places, Sports can be a major. Their athlete can be a professional player. In Hong Kong, sports never will be a major. Athele just can be a amateur player. Parents, information, and the government also can affect the sports can be a major or not.

Culture is the basic problem to decide a subject can be a major or not. In Hong Kong, almost every parents think sports just can be a insterest. They always think about the major need to bring home the bacon. In their mind, Maketing, Law, and Medicine also can make their children become outstanding and rich. On the other hand, the U.S. parents think every subject has its master even though it is art, music or sports. They will spport their children in every way. Parents are the one kind of trend to settle what the major is.

Nowadays, the effect of information technology education is secong only to parents. In Hong Kong, media always broadcast other countries sports' news. For example, N.B.A, Wimbledon Championships, and other football leagues. Teenagers know foreign atheles more than local. It will make them to think local atheles are not professional. Then they will just want to be a foreign famous athele and they will not join the local training anymore. So, information also can control the trend.

Finally, the government is the last one to rule the major. Choosing the outstanding is Hong Kong government's style even though it is a training program. Nearly all of coaches just want to find out the special one. It will make other normal children have no way to join any training. Then parents will push their children who are normal to study other subject except sports. Therefore, a subject can be a major, it depends on the goverment's system.

In conclusion, Sports can be a major in the U.S., but not in Honk Kong. Because of three things, parents, information and the government. Parents can push their children to study a major what the parents want. Information can influence teenagers' thinking. It can make people look down on local sports or not. The government is a judge to estimate a subject. Unfortunately, in Hong Kong all of them do not support sports. So, sports are totally different between in the U.S. and in Hong Kong.

What Is My Major

So far, I have lived in the U.S. for six months. I know my target is to finish a undergraduate degree. It is clear and definite, but I never think about the major. Even though I will take criminology, I don't have to decide it. I am so confused, because I must go back to HK when I finished the undergraduate degree. That's mean I need to choose a major what can earn money in HK. For example, Marketing, Criminology, Accounting and others. In HK, some majors are not valued. So, I need to make a decision between interest and actuality.The other problem is my family. My source of income is my parent, so at least i need to tell them what major i will choose. That also make me feel perplexed.

Luckily, I have seven months to decide it. I will go back to HK in September, because my the other sister get married. Then I will skip the fall semester. So, i can talk with my parent about my major. It is a good news for me. Then I can focus on TOFLE. I hope I can pass the TOFLE and have a full time undergraduate in the next spring semester. Anyway, I will try my best.