I'm Sorry I'm a Christian

I am a Christian
我是一個基督徒
I’m sorry
對不起
I’m sorry for the way that I come across
對於我所有自認為"基督教"的言行,我感到歉疚
So fair and fake friendly and full on my self
對於我一切自認為公平和虛假的善意,我感到歉疚
so judging your spiritual health by the words that you say and the way that you dress and the things that you do
對於批評你所言,所穿,甚至所行,使你心靈上受到的傷害,我感到歉疚
Or maybe just judging you
或者我只是想透過批評你的時候,使我自己可以自視高人一等,對此我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for the way I live my life
對於我所有自以為是的"基督教"的行為,感到歉疚
So confident of my own beliefs that I would never think to think about thinking about yours
我是何等的自我,自私和自以為是,我從沒有認為有需要去思考有關於你的一切
I’m sorry for the wars
對於戰爭,我感到歉疚
Ironclad crusaders mounting steeds and drawing swords with such spirit but the spirit…
[something about the spirit being out and the sword of the spirit was the word]
…but the word was with God and the word was God and they preached this as they marched on the holy land.
對於十字軍用上帝的名義對耶路撒冷引發的戰爭[大致講述十字軍東征的歷史]
Singing and praying
期間不斷的唱聖詩和祈禱
And killing and slaying
不斷的殺戮
And preaching and healing
不斷的講道和醫治
And raping and stealing
以及不斷的批評和盜竊
It’s ironic that they lined their pockets in the name of God
諷刺地他們竟是以上帝之名來進行欺壓和歛財等行為
Just like the priests who lined their pockets in the name of God
就好像一些神父以上帝之名來歛財一樣
Just like the people you can’t stand because they always raise their hands and spread their faith and hate and judgment in the name of God
就好像你不能忍受一些人常以上帝之名來高舉他們的雙手和傳播他們的信仰,他們的仇恨和他們的審判一樣
I’m sorry that I take the name of God in vain
對於我自以為是地使用上帝的名,我感到歉疚
or rather I’m sorry that I stain the name of God
或者更確切地說,對於我敗壞了上帝的名聲,我感到歉疚
Defending my selfish actions and selfless actions pertaining to the will of God
對於使用上帝的喜好作為藉口來掩飾我一切不論是自私或無私的行為,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for being intolerant
對於我的偏執和不容忍,我感到歉疚
For trying to talk down to you, for trying to talk over you, for not letting you talk
對於我以高人一等的口氣對你說話的行為,對於我中斷你發言的行為,對於我不讓你發言的行為,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for not walking the walk
對於我不是仿傚耶穌基督的道,我感到歉疚
For being a hypocritical critical Christian
對於我是一個假冒偽善的基督徒,我感到歉疚
Criticizing your pagan lifestyle while my own lifestyle styles itself like the televangelist’s hair
對於當我將我的生活方式塑造成一個"基督徒"應有的生活方式的時候,就好像電視福音佈道者的頭髮一樣(美國朋友說那些佈道者注意他們的外表或髮型多於他們的言行),繼而去批評你非基督徒的生活方式
All slick and sly and slippery spole to slide, wait until you hear, you see that’s my greatest fear
我最懼怕的是某一天你會聽到和知道甚麼才是真的,並發現我所說的一切,原來都只是虛有其表,靠不住的
That the steps I take won’t match the words I speak
發現我所做的原來並不符合我所說的
so when I speak all you hear of me is a weak hypocritical critical Christian
所以我現在所說的和你所聽到的我只是一個軟弱和假冒偽善的基督徒
Doing one thing and saying another
說的是一套,做的卻是另一套
Loving my friend but hating my brother
愛的的朋友,但是討厭我的家人
it’s a show
這只是一場表現
I’m sorry I get drunk on Saturdays and go to church on Sundays to pray for my friends who get drunk on Saturdays.
對於我會在每個星期六喝得酩酊大醉,之後在每個星期日去教會為與我一樣喝醉的朋友祈禱的事,我感到歉疚
And on that note I’m sorry for making the church about the pews and the cross and the steeple, because the building is not the church; the church is the people
對於我將教會比作教堂的長椅,十字架和教堂的尖塔,我感到歉疚.因為建築物不能夠代表教會,教會是基督徒
I’m sorry that I hate you because you are gay
對於我厭惡你正因為你是同性戀者,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry I condemn you to hell because you’re gay instead of loving I jump to hatred
對於因為你是同性戀者,我用厭惡代替愛,甚至遺責你下地獄,我感到歉疚
Mouth open and tongue preaching, eyes open but not seeing that you are the same as me just a F****** human being
雖然我不斷的說教,眼睛雖然是睜開的,卻沒有看見,原來你和我一樣都只是他媽的人頖
I’m sorry that I only hang out with Christian friends and we only do nice Christian things like potluck dinners and board game nights
對於我只是和我的基督徒朋友有聚會,而我們亦只是做一些只令自己愉快的基督教活動(聚餐和玩團體遊戲)
While in the night a man beats his girlfriend again
但是在同一時間有一個男人再一次痛毆他的女朋友
Another homeless man dies again
同一時間再有另一位露宿耆失去生命
If this is the way my own pride has been but here I am with my same friends again
我知道這些行為並不是基督徒所應有的,但我仍然與同樣的朋友做一些同樣的事情
but see what I always forget is that Jesus did come to hang out with the priests and the lords
但是你知道嗎?我常常忘記了耶穌基督是與祭士和官吏聚會的嗎?
no, He hung out with cripples and beggars and whores.
不,我所忘記的是耶穌基督是與傷患的人,貧窮的人和妓女聚會的
Love
上帝的愛
I’m sorry for history
對於歷史,我感到歉疚
For native tribes wiped out in the name of the church
對於我們以教會的名義去摧毀原居民的一切,我感到歉疚
Lodges burning, Stomachs churning and yearning for justice as mothers
燒毀美洲原著民的居所,使他們生不如死,美國人渴望成為一個法官,好像美洲原著民的母親去判決他們一樣
screaming and bleeding, pleading for their young ones are dragged away to church schools where they were abused
他們呼喊,他們流血,他們哀求為了美洲原著民的孩子被強迫去那些會虐待他們的教會
I’m sorry for the way that I refuse to learn your culture, instead I just came to spread the gospel - and the plague
對於我拒絕學習你的文化,反而我只是來傳福音和傳染病,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry that I stand at the front doors of abortion clinics screaming at fifteen-year-old girls as they enter instead of waiting at the back door to hug them as they leave.
對於我沒有在墮胎診所的後門去擁抱十五歲的女孩,反而在前門在她們進去的時候對着她們叫喊,我感到歉疚
I’m sorry for taking my wars and my faith to your lands when historically your lands is where my faith was born
對於我將戰爭和我的信仰帶到你的土地上,但事實是你的土地正是我的信仰的發源地
And in the face of the storm I realize that if God is Allah and Allah is God then 而事實上我理解到我的耶和華是你的真主阿拉,你的真主阿拉是我的耶和華的時候
why are we shooting instead of sharing
為何我們會以戰爭代替了分享
Why are we launching instead of learning
為何我們會以方便代替了學習
Why are we warring instead of walking together
為何我們會以敵對代替了同行
Why are we taking instead of talking together
為何我們會以奪取代替了溝通
Why are we bombing instead of breaking bread together
為何我們會以破壞代替了互助
You see I think God looks down and He’s sad
我想如果上帝向下注視的時候,祂會感到難過
And from His right hand throne above, Jesus asks “where is the love?”
和坐在上帝右邊的寶座的耶穌基督會問愛在那裡?
and if it takes will I and Justin Timberlake ask the same question for us to start asking the same question that where the f*** are we headed?
如果這是必須去回答的,我將會和賈斯汀(美國歌手)問同樣的問題去讓我們開始去問同樣的問題"我們被帶領到何等他媽的錯誤的地方去?"
So I will take this stage to be my chapel and this mic to be my confessional, and in the presence of God and of you, the blessed, I confess I am a Christian
所以我會將這個講台代替我的教會,這個咪高峰代替我的告解室,與及在上帝和你的面前承認我是一個不符合上帝心意的基督徒
I’m sorry
對不起
-poem by Chris Tse
作者Chris Tse